New beginning

5 июня 2018 г.

5 июня 2018 г.
Rose, markers sketch, copic, promarkers, sketchmarker, flower sketch, dotwork, Nezvetaeva, Sonia Nezvetaeva
Sinse the end of the March till yesturday I have not drew anything. No sketch, no pics, no photo in my Instagram. Did I live through this time or not?

In April I found out that there was a problem with copyright, when I took references for my project in the Internet. Hello, I am a queen of fails! In that moment I had an offer for my art from an international agency. And, I was like "Omg, I have to reject it!" Reject my first opportunity to make a big step... Any way, I did it. I did the right thing.

I was crushed, disappointed and upset. 6 months of my work became a zero. I thought about how can I be so stupid and whatnot. It was like a big emotional hollow. And I gave up. I thought I wasn't good enough for this way, this profession, this world. I've started the research another jobs, another things. Analysis, or math, or cleaner of doghouse? I had a lot of panic attacks one by one. It was terrible and exhausting. I asked myself "Am I mad? Do I need a help? Drugs? Therapy? What's wrong with me?" I was scared all the time. I was afraid of all the things.

And then my friend Fyo said to me: "Stop ruin your life and brain. Just learn your lessons, do your homework. And go! Do what you love." It was like a shock. Like a treatment, what I need. And in the next morning I became a completely normal person. With clear understanding, what I want to do now. Few simple words in the right moment, thanks to you, my dear friend!
Today in the morning I bought this domain name (again) and rebuilt my old blog. It's always the right moment to accept your mistakes, forgive yourself and restart your story.

This rose is my new beginning. 1st sketch for almost 3 months. And I'm happy again.

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